Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Three Mothers, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were all talking about their daughters.
The Brunette said, “I was looking through my daughter’s purse and I found cigarettes. I can’t believe my daughter smokes.”
The Redhead said, “I was looking through my daughter’s purse and I found a bottle of liquor. I can’t believe my daughter drinks.”
The Blonde said, “I was looking through my daughter’s purse and I found a pack of condoms. I can’t believe my daughter has a penis!”
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Two plumbers were in the pub mouthing off.
The first one asked “Have you had the new dispatcher yet? She’s fairly good in bed, better than my wife.”
“Yes,” said the other one, “She is good, but I wouldn’t say she’s better than your wife.”
Thursday, August 12, 2004
School begins soon. I am just waiting for it to start, and of course, I gotta tell this joke I just heard:
A very good looking man decided he wanted to marry the perfect woman so they could produce the most beautiful children possible. With that in mind, he set off for Ireland, to search for the perfect woman.
Shortly after arriving in County Cork, he met a farmer who had three beautiful daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, “Aye, they’re lookin’ t’ marry, so ye came to the right place. Look ’em over and pick the one ye be wantin’.”
The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man’s opinion.
“Well,” said the man, “she’s just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice… pigeon-toed.”
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
“Well, “the man replied, “she’s just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell… cross-eyed.”
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, “She’s perfect, just perfect. She’s the one I want to marry.”
So they were wed right away.
Months later, the baby was born. When the man visited his wife and newborn, he was aghast; the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human imaginable. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.
“Well,” explained the farmer, “She was just a weeeeee bit, not that ye could hardly tell… pregnant when you met her.”