Monday, August 01, 2005
I wish I weren’t feeling so guilty about his chica that “Maggie” knew.
She’s an online buddy. Apparently she had a major thing with Maggie and naturally was nuts about her. Well, now she’s just nuts.
She thinks I’m Maggie; like, we’re the same person and have been all along.
At first I was shocked then I felt sorry for her. Poor thing; she really liked her - now she’s just delusional. Then it got annoying and then it made me angry.
The thing is, M kinda “recommended” this girl to me as a fun and imaginative online playmate. Having no experience with girls, I was curious and intrigued.
Also I figured that it was really M all along anyway, and she was playing a game with me.
Then I told her Maggie was gone, passed away.
So she just kinda did this weird 20 questions game, back & forth, back & forth and then, she came out and said, “oh quit playing, I’ve known you two were the same person all along.”
I was floored, and denied it in a very firm way.
She also entertained the suspicion that D is also me. (Did I tell you she was delusional?)
So I did a terrible thing. I said, ok I admit it. I’m Maggie, and you were right all along, and I did it because I’m confined to a wheelchair and I’m 63 years old.
Then we had cybersex. After that, I’ve ignored her and blocked all of her PMs.
That was in June.
I was angry. I was furious. She only liked me because she thought I was Maggie. What is wrong with being me? Why did she do that to me?
Now I regret it. I shouldn’t of led her on. She’s a person with feelings. Sigh.
I’m so stupid. I wish M were here.