Saturday, October 29, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Monday, October 03, 2005
YH: Hi. I messed something up.
M: What happened?
YH: The sink won’t drain, and when I run the garbage disposal it just spits water out of it. [Wailing] What did I do?
M: Hmm… what did you put into the garbage disposal right before that?
YH: Apple peels.
M: Apple peels? How many?
YH: Well, ok I peeled two pounds of apples to make an apple pie. And I put the peels in the garbage disposal.
M: All at once?
YH: [Pause.] Yeah.
M: [Sigh] I see. Well, the cross-pipe is probably clogged. I’ll fix it when I get home if you can wait.
YH: Is it something I can do?
M: To be sure, you could. You will need the plumbing wrench, the one I use to fix the deer fence, and a Philips head screwdriver. First, disable the garbage disposal with the switch in the cabinet. Put a bucket under the drain to catch the dirty water when you take the drain apart. The clog is probably in the cross pipe – that is the pipe that comes from the garbage disposal on the left and goes to the sink drain on the right. Remove the screws to the cross pipe flange with the Philips head screwdriver, then carefully pull out the cross pipe from the drain.
YH: [Writing it all down] OK, then what?
M: Then, you find something to poke the peels out of the cross pipe into the rubbish can. Then, you put it all back together in the reverse order; replace cross pipe on right, then on left, then re-attach the flange. If you find something does not fit, please don’t force it; I will fix it when I get home tonight.
YH: But I wanted to make dinner by myself tonight!! The sink is full and I wanted the kitchen to be clean when you got home!
M: Well, I think you will have to have the patience to allow for what happens, darling. If you do not unclog the sink, it is not the end of the world.
YH: [Sigh] All right. But I’m gonna try it.
M: Very well. Call me if you have any questions. Goodbye, chère.
[20 minutes of fiddling under the sink pass. Then, a triumphant squeal is heard. I call Monsieur back.]
YH: I did it!
M: But, of course you did! Well done!
YH: [proudly] I’ll see you when you get home.
M: Did I understand you to say that you made an apple pie?
YH: Yes! [proudly] And my first one!
M: Delightful! I shall see you tonight.
- Alias First name?
the Yearning Heart. OK, I know it sounds like it’s the name of a three-masted frigate.
- Were you named after anyone?
My real name, yes. I was named after an aunt, who was named after a saint.
- Do you wish on stars?
No, I wish on wishbones.
- When did you last cry?
Yesterday. Sunday, October 2, 2005. I needed sex.
- What is your favorite lunchmeat?
- What is your birth date?
- What’s your most embarrassing CD?
Oh, gosh, so many. I still own an Boys II Men CD, and *blush* I play it when I do housework.
- If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Oh hell, yeah, if I could put up with my moods.
- Do you use sarcasm a lot?
- What are your nicknames?
- Would you bungee jump?
No. I’d skydive, though. Weird, huh?
- Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Depends. I have a pair of VERY old sneakers that have double-knots so tight I can’t undo them, but they slip right off. My work sneakers, though, I have to untie.
- Do you think that you are strong?
I have a strong will, and a strong heart. I’m also brave enough to cut your nuts off.
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Double mocha chunk. I can only handle a spoonful at a serving.
- Shoe Size?
- Red or pink?
- What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
- Who do you miss most?
- What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
Blue shorts, white sneakers.
- What are you listening to right now?
Touch & Go
- What did you eat for breakfast?
A sip of coffee and a slice of plain toast.
- If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
- What is the weather like right now?
Hot and muggy.
- Last person you talked to on the phone?
- The first things you notice about the opposite sex?
Voice. Then eyes, hands, fingers.
- Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I got it from Trick. I kinda like her, but I need to get to know her better to be sure.
- Favorite Drink?
Glenlivet, neat. I don’t drink much anymore.
- Hair Color?
Red. Auburn, actually.
- Do you wear contacts?
- Favorite Food?
Lobster, or whatever Monsieur made for dinner.
- Last Movie You Watched?
In the theater, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The last one I watched on video was The Aviator.
- Favorite Day Of The Year?
- Scary Movies Or Happy Endings?
- Summer Or Winter?
Up north, summer. In Texas, I’m hoping for a cool, breezy winter.
- Hugs or Kisses?
Kisses. Hugs aren’t bad, either.
- What Is Your Favorite Dessert?
Chocolate intemperance, but only ½ serving.
- Living Arrangements?
I live with Monsieur. I still don’t know where I stand. Am I a Live-In Girlfriend, or a Nanny With Benefits?
- What Books Are You Reading?
- Nanny Wisdom: Our Secrets for Raising Healthy, Happy Children — From Newborns to Preschoolers;
- The Emotional Life Of The Toddler by Alicia F. Lieberman;
- An Overview of the Peloponnesian Wars, unpublished manuscript by Maggie.
It’s not my mousepad, it has the Linux penguin.
a British sitcom – As Time Goes By, (guilty pleasure).
Pot roast, fresh basil, Monsieur’s cock.
Don’t really have one. Chocolate, but not too much at a time.
Beatles – they knew when to break up.
Where’s home I wonder? …New York City, no matter where home is.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
On the water down in New OrleansMy baby’s the Pearl of the QuarterShe’s a charmer like you’ve never seenSinging, “Voulez, voulez, voulez-vous?