Sunday, May 08, 2005

The Scarlet Letter

I feel like a fraud.

Do you ever think that someday someone is going to figure out that you have no talent, that you can’t do what you’ve wanted to do, what you’ve studied and trained and burned for? And someone will somehow put a big scarlet F for False, for Fraud, for Fucked, for Failure – right on your chest?
I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I can’t act, I can’t even behave and I’m about to go into that big scary world of graduate school and get screwed over again. And my dad will, too; I’ll screw him over for him. HE is the one that really worked his whole life for me to get into school.
I should have gone into vet science, except when I screw that up, a calf dies.

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