Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Anxiety Attack

I woke up just now realizing that Monsieur’s mother will be here in less than a week. For some reason this gave me such an anxiety attack. His mother, and his sister will be here. I know D doesn’t think I should be here. What will she tell his mom? I tossed and turned till 2 AM then just got up.
I stared at a bottle of cognac in the cupboard for ten minutes, thinking a shot of that would settle me and make me sleep. But I closed the cupboard door.
I have been running so fast and hard, trying to immerse myself in the education of these kids and caring for these three – no, four – guys. I am learning to cook, which is something my mom always wanted me to do, but I never would. I guess I’m learning to grow up.
After the last boy goes to bed I’m usually next. I now realize why people with kids don’t have sex so much – although I want to! But right now there’s nothing better than to be asleep in bed, then to wake up and roll over and find him there.
I don’t know what D will be like when they get here. D is Monsieur’s sister. Wait, D is also Monsieur’s initial too, so I guess I should call his sister Mademoiselle. Now, there’s something I would never do in real life.
Then as I go to post this I find that Venting Housewife’s blog has been hacked; I’m so angry.


Larry said...

just be yourself and you will be fine. you seem sweet and caring to me and that will shine thru to D and the others. im pissed to about VH

Cardman said...

As larry above said, be yourself. The fact that you are caring for three (ok, four) guys is such a show of your true character. Shame on them if they can't see that.

Ditto on VH blog, sucks.

Deb said...

wow - you have your hands full. you sound very sweet and it would be a hard fact to miss. *hugs*

The Venting Housewife said...

I think she will love you, how could she not. When all of this is over, and she has left. You will feel silly for thinking she would hate you.