Friday, January 27, 2006

T minus 24:00 to Mademoiselle D

  • Floors: check
  • Counters: check
  • Clutter: gone
  • Laundry: in control
  • Face: reasonably clear of blemishes
  • Underwear: clean
  • Hair: washed. (I’ll braid it.)
  • 3 dressy outfits: clean and ready-to-wear
  • Boys: bathed
  • Boys’ bedrooms: tidied
  • Chickens: fed
  • Groceries: stocked
Why am I so nervous? Because: I face the unknown, with no tech or dress rehearsal.
Belle-Mère and Mademoiselle D (Monsieur’s mother and his sister) come this weekend, and I have no idea what Mademoiselle told Belle-Mère about me.
The last time I spoke with Mademoiselle, it was on the telephone last June. She told me I had no business being here while Monsieur is still going through major upheaval and grief.
“I’ll leave when he asks me to,” I told her simply.
“And why should [Monsieur] do that,” she asked me “with a woman there to do,” and then a pause, “his bidding.”
“If you are so worried about him and the boys, why aren’t you down here helping him yourself?” I asked, trying to keep the challenging tone out of my voice.
“You know I can’t leave my work,” she said. “I know it would be hard for him, but he needs time to sort things out for himself. They all do.”
“I’ll leave when he asks me to,” I repeated. “I promise you that.”
She asked me if I was in love with Monsieur.
“I don’t know,” I lied.
“Are you sleeping with him?”
That caught me off guard. “No,” I said. (I hadn’t, at that time.) “But, I won’t tell you that the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. If I do end up in his bed, I promise you that it will be my choice, his problem, and none of your business.”[1]
“All right then,” she said, and that conversation was over.
So now the Ice Queen is coming with her mom and I have no idea what’s going to happen. I’m sure it will all be fine.
Ha. Ha, hah, hahahaha.[2]

[1] Adapted from The Goodbye Girl, by Neil Simon. Used without permission.

[2] Sarcastic, fateful laughter.


Cardman said...

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...just remember, it's just a visit. All visitors must leave. Like Ben Franklin said, guests and fish tend to smell after 3 days...

Passionate Man said...

Anyone as sweet as you can charm her without effort. And if all else fails, turn Monsieur on her. (Oh, wait...a French man standing up to his mother...never mind.)

You'll be cordial, sweet, and everything a mother could want in a daughter-in-law. She'll warm.

The Venting Housewife said...


You are going to do awsome, they will love you. I am sure his mother would have said something to Monsieur, and he would have prepped you some how.

You have done an amazing job at keeping things just a little bit normal, with all the shit they have had to deal with. I think she should be thankful for that.

introspectre said...


Ice Queens are the scariest. I have one for a sister in law, now. Talk about the heeby jeebies. I was so thankful she didn't show up at our wedding!!!