Plus, it's not the size that matters

I have a very difficult time remembering which French nouns are masculine and which are feminine, since I am a native English speaker (well, some would argue that). But some nouns are easy to remember. For example, in French “computer” is masculine; l’ordinateur. This should be obvious to anyone who has ever worked with both of them (thanks to KK for pointing this out) :

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have got a better model.

In the interest of objectivity, I must point out the arguments for “l’ordinateur” being a feminine noun:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.