Friday, May 05, 2006

Friends With Bootycall

Fortunately WHNT Huntsville AL is right on top of this disturbing story.
Ever have a Friend with Benefits? Someone asked me that, and as I think back I realize that, no, I never did.
There were a couple of times that I dated guys and we got along great but we didn’t exactly want to move in together. But, we didn’t sleep with other people, and when it was time (I think in both cases they actually wanted to date another woman) we were friends as we broke up. But I never had a “booty call” or FWB or anything like that, only because I never met anyone that I wanted to sleep with but not form an attachment with. I can, however, see the benefits.
Articles like that one which focuses on “teens” and this one, which is seems to be written by a college student for college students, tend to make it sound like the woman is always the one who ends up getting hurt. That didn’t seem to be happening among my friends, though, but maybe that’s because my statistical sample is so small. I knew three – no four – girls who had “booty calls” and none of them formed any sort of attachment emotionally, dumping them when they got steady boyfriends. Of these, I know one guy ended up in love with the girl, and the break up didn’t go so well.
I don’t know any straight guys with regular “booty calls”. That is, I don’t know any guys who admitted that their SOs were really booty calls. I know one guy (I’ll call him “Steve” because that’s his real name and I doubt he’d care) who called the married-but-separated girl he was with his “girlfriend” (I’ll call her “Lorie” for the same reasons above). However, I suspected at the time that Lorie thought of Steve as her rebound booty call, while Steve was pretty certain that Lorie fell for him and left her husband for him. Then she got a job in another state, and it was “So long, Steve, and thanks for all the sex.”
Did anyone ever really have an FWB? Did you fall for him/her? Did he/she fall for you? I’m not really interested in gender data, but stories.

6 comments:

Romancing Simplicity said...

Oh my goodness; I can't believe that article!!! Hooking up and non-emotional sexual relationships...
...at 15?!

I must have been way behind the times or something.

Ranger Tom said...

Unfortunately I discovered I was a "Booty Call" after the fact. I was dating a woman I thought exclusively, and even after I had told her I NEVER just jump into bed with just ANYBODY, it had to be special... ( I know, I'm not your typical guy) Anyway, I had fallen for this woman in a BIG way, only to discover later she was seeing several other men at the same time as me.

That hurt a lot.

Yes, some men DO have feeling too.

The Venting Housewife said...

Funny you should ask :)

My husband was suppose to be a FWB. We were in our last year of highschool, both getting out of a serious relationship gone horrible. Both needing some company without expectations. And then after the first time I knew it was more, and so did he. 7 years, 3 almost 4 of them married, and 2 babies later...well we are still addicted to eachother and more in love now then ever.

So it happens.

Passionate Man said...

FWBs are bullshit. Never met a woman who wasn't using at as an excuse to hide she was head-over-heels with someone who didn't want her. Last, desperate attempt to hook into him.

Can a woman really be that intimate and keep it that way? Sorry to generalize; but I've never seen it stay that way.

Introspectre said...

Yah- I had the same "fuck friend" (that was our term for it) from the age of 14-17.
MM, at first I was romatically interested and wanted things to be serious, but then I realized he was just as asshole.
Frankly, I hated sex and don't know why we ever hooked up.
The whole thing is a total mystery to me, if I overlook the fact that I wanted someone to pay attention to me at any cost, and being his occasional fuck friend made him pay a hell of a lot of attention.

Do I feel used? Yah.

If I had enjoyed the sex would I feel used? No.

I had another fuck friend, which was right after my last ex and I broke up. He was actually the ex previous, but as I had been involved for 5 years, quite a bit of time had passed. We had always been intensely attracted to each other and when we where b/f and g/f, things were hot.
So, after my boyfriend cheated on me, I told the ex-ex, and he was like, "So, you coming over later?" and I said, "You better fucking believe it." Fucked him twice, loved doing it, no regrets, other that wishing I had fucked him a whole lot more before I left town.

It all depends on how you feel about the sex itself, I think.

Introspectre said...

I should add, after reading Pasionate Man's comments, that I was totally ok with it being just sex.

The second fuck friend was an ex, and one I was not "in love" with. We had GREAT sex when we were together, but I knew he wasn't The One and wanted to find The One so I broke up with him. To go back and fuck him a few more times was just fabulous.

If I wasn't married, I'd fuck him so more, no doubts about it. Being in love with him, no, no, no.

The thing is, a woman WANTS The One, but I was at that perfect stage that I knew I wasn't ready for anything serious, but needed a good lay. He fit the bill. It was understood between us ahead of time and neither party was hurt or upset. It was fab.